The Universe, Summarized

                Ha! I got you to click on that! You fell into my trap!                 So, in case you haven’t noticed, I will not be talking about Donald Trump or any of his sons, illegitimate or otherwise. I will be addressing another issue, one that you have just fallen for. Clickbait. Why Does Clickbait Work? We have all seen a YouTube video called like “Everyday habits that are actually KILLING YOU,” and we all know what happens next. You say, “Ugh. Clickbait. Why do people still fall for stuff like this?” Then you scroll down, but you can’t get that video out of your head now. You know it’s clickbait. You know that when you watch the video, it’s just going to say something obvious like “Smoking is a habit that many people have that is actually very detrimental to your health,” and maybe you don’t even really care about what deadly habits you have. You just have to know what the video was going to say. It’s in your mind now. You fight back, but it has already won. You thin

                I’m sorry all you Monopoly fans, but I’m about to expose the bitter truth about Monopoly; it is a terrible game. Possibly one of the worst board games. At least one of the worst that I’ve played in my lifetime. My first critique: the game takes FOREVER. If you look on the box, it says it takes like 45 minutes to an hour, or something like that. This is most certainly an alternative fact. I used to play this game with my family, and each game would take like 4 hours, and we usually didn’t even finish a full game! We would usually quit early, because after about 30 minutes, you know who’s going to win. Then it’s just a slow march for everyone else, as they play hour after hour, just waiting to lose so the drudgery can be over. Once someone pulls ahead in monopoly, there’s no catching up to them. That combined with the fact that the game takes an eternity make for a very dull, grueling experience. By the end of a full game of Monopoly, I feel as if I ran a marathon but bl